Nabi ﷺ informed us to keep our weddings simple, and if you look at all the Prophet's marriages, he conducted the walima in accordance to his wealth, which depended on what he could afford at the time.
Here is a lesson for us from our beloved teacher and master: weddings should not be over extravagant and we should do them according to our abilities. So no need to take out massive loans!
It's unfortunate that people actually delay marriage because they believe that they need to have a a certain amount of money and that the wedding has to be a certain way for it to be "acceptable" among family and friends.
what we must realize is that each time we go away from the Sunnah, it can have a negative effect on us and every time we come closer to the Sunnah, there is always much more barakah.
This is not an attack to say don't enjoy your wedding, these are celebrations that are supposed to be enjoyed. However, there are limitations and they are in place for the best of reasons.
The main thing that we need to focus on firstly, is our intention: why are we doing this wedding?
The main reason why we perform the walima is because it was a Sunnah of our beloved Prophet ﷺ because he did and encouraged it, we follow in his footsteps, in order to become closer to him and in turn become closer to Allah. and what a beautiful intention this is!
Let the walima be a means of pushing you towards Allah, let it become an action where you seek his pleasure only.
It's truly sad when we look at some of our weddings, we should seriously ask ourselves: is the intention here to please Allah? the kind of weddings we have, are we really putting Allah first?
A lot of the weddings are mainly to please other people, possibly because of social pressure and it's always an issue about what are other people going to say.
So, if you do something for the creation and forget your creator how can you expect to have barakah in the wedding and married life? there is no obedience to the created where there is disobedience to the creator.
The answer is very simple: the more halal there is in a gathering, the more barakah. As Allah says: remember me and I will remember you. So, if you remember Allah on your wedding day then he will remember you, but if you forget Allah on this day, then how do you expect to have barakah in your life? how do you expect not to have martial problems?
We must therefore ensure from the beginning till the end and constantly tell ourselves that we're doing everything for Allah's sake, no matter what people think of us. We often put people at the forefront of our minds, but until Allah becomes the priority in our lives we will not see change.
Maybe you have family pressure and you're the only one standing up. Well the Sahaba had much pressure from the Quraysh when they became Muslim, but you have to stand your ground and always do the right thing, even if you are the only one with this belief. Speak out and say: "I don't think this is going to pleasurable to Allah, Allah will not be pleased with this. This is my day, I only want to get married once, so I want as much barakah and blessings as possible. So, I'm going to do everything in accordance of what Allah wants from me, no matter what anyone thinks"
If you do that, with the difficulty it comes with I guarantee you that you will have barakah in your life I guarantee your married life will be successful by the will of Allah.
May Allah guide us and protect us all. May he give us the strength to follow the teaching of our beloved Messenger ﷺ and may Allah bless us with spouses who remind us of him.
Remember me in your duas :)
اللهم صل على سيدنا محمد